I don’t need to tell you how many obstacles stand between you and your dream becoming a reality. You know better than anyone what you’re up against.
But often—and I learned this the hard way—the biggest obstacle you face is you. Or more accurately, the soundtrack constantly running through your mind: your self-talk.
A lot is made of self-talk—those words you speak silently to yourself as you confront the downs and embrace the ups of your journey. And rightly so, because self-talk can be your most powerful ally and yet also your most fearsome enemy, switching roles in the blink of an eye.
I’ve seen projects flourish through positive self-talk and others fail through negative self-talk. That experience taught me that no hurdle—be it finance, time, skills, or whatever—will ever impact your progress as much as your self-talk.
Why? Because your self-talk influences, and is influenced by, your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual circumstances.
When your self-talk is positive, the world seems brighter: you’re better company, and productivity and energy levels improve.
But when your self-talk is negative, you can quickly disappear into a pit of despair, where small problems become unconquerable mountains and defeat seems inevitable.
The impact of your self-talk on your mood, outlook and ability to cope can be profound. To manage this impact so it moves you forward rather than holds you back, you need to understand what sparks that negative voice.
Negative self-talk manifests from many triggers: isolation, tiredness, frustration, failure, and criticism, to name a few. But these triggers aren’t your enemy: they’re merely hiding places from which negative self-talk pounces when you drop your guard, which you do easily when tired, encountering problems, facing unexpected challenges, or receiving criticism.
When your guard drops, negativity watches for the perfect moment to break cover and wreak havoc. And when negativity cranks up in your mind, the only way to beat it back is with its nemesis—positivity. Not superficial cheerleading, but real, genuine, grounded-in-fact positivity.
Easy to say, harder to do. But it can be done.
To combat negative self-talk, you need to know what triggers it. For me, tiredness is key. When I’m tired, I’m vulnerable to the internal voice that drags me down. I’m also vulnerable when situations stoke my insecurities: failure and criticism dent my confidence and invite negativity to step from the shadows.
What are your triggers? What unsettles you, throws you off track, makes you recoil? You need to figure that out. When you notice that voice creeping in, pay attention to what is going on around you and what may have invited that negative voice to have its say.
Once you know your triggers, you can fight back with a plan head negativity off at the pass before it strikes; or, if you can’t do that, to beat it back when it does.
Start your fightback by keeping a record of every success you’ve achieved. These successes are irrefutable fact. When negativity begins to show, remind yourself of these successes. Out loud if necessary. Tell that advancing negative voice just how good you are—because you truly are as good as your successes suggest.
Also, tap into your relationships. Never underestimate having good people around you. When negativity strikes, lean on them. Often, all you need is an upbeat, positive conversation grounded in fact.
Above all, remember this simple truth: despite whatever failure or criticism you endure, you are powerful beyond measure. You may not feel it, but you are.
When all is said and done, it’s simple: if the only voice you hear is your own, make sure you’re having good conversations.
