I’d felt like this before. Nearly twenty years ago, right before a catastrophic meltdown. a horrible period of my life, but as , one I’d learned from. What did I learn?

IT’S OK TO ADMIT DEFEAT.

Let’s be clear, admitting defeat isn’t something I’m good at. Whether it’s an impossible workout, DIY project, household chores or an unachievable deadline, my mantra is always “I will do this”. And, usually, I meet the challenge.

But not this time.

Over 20 years ago, Kate and I set a strategy for our vision. Along the way, we got pulled in different directions but never lost sight of our dream.

In April 2019, we committed fully. No income. No backup plans. (And no knowledge a pandemic lurked around the corner). We bet everything, which meant no distractions and no excuses.

We thought it would take three months to launch our signature product – a digital course combining everything we’d worked on since 2002. We gave ourselves four months to be safe.

Planning done, launch date set, we got to work. Soon we realised this was more than first envisaged. Way more.

For four weeks, every new task uncovered things we hadn’t considered. As tasks mounted, no tinkering with our schedule would align milestones with our plan. We had seriously underestimated what lay ahead.

Undeterred, we decided to work harder.

We could do this.

We would do this.

7am alarms became 5am alarms. 9am starts became 6am starts. Eight-hour days became 15-hour marathons. Five-day weeks became seven. We just needed to keep going.

Had I learned nothing from my meltdown twenty years earlier?

Apparently not.

Until I woke up with that same feeling I’d woken up with the day my world unravelled

I could hardly move. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. Everything ached, my head pounded, thoughts were scrambled.

A cold shiver ran down my spine – not from fever, but from recollection of what followed the last time I felt like this.

In that moment, I admitted defeat. Maybe I had learned something after all.

But here’s the thing – and pay attention, because this is the difference between pursuing your adventure and resigning yourself to mere existence:

Admitting defeat does not mean giving up.

I admitted defeat on the schedule. I admitted defeat on launching when planned. I admitted defeat on being superhuman. I did not admit defeat on my dream. Instead, I committed to finding another way.

This led to a kinder, more realistic schedule and opened new possibilities that would make our launch better.

Most importantly, we created space to breathe – space to repair the damage from driving ourselves so hard. And the best part? I was excited again.

I share this because I don’t want you to fall into the same pit or lose sight of your dream. With all my heart, I don’t want you to settle for mere existence. So I’ll leave you with this:

• Know your dream. Unpack it. Write it down. Keep it front and centre.
• Be kind to yourself. Humans have limitations. Embrace those as safeguards, not failings.
• Learn to hear your own voice. Your mind and body speak to you daily.
• Listen to that voice. Listening requires action – even if that action is to be still.

And finally, never forget that it is OK to admit defeat.