to do to ‘succeed’—that you need to constantly strive to become ‘better’, more productive, more accomplished. How you should be using every spare moment to learn new skills, develop new practices, launch new projects and emerge as an improved version of yourself.
I know, right? Constantly chasing a ‘better’ version of you?
I recently returned from Thailand, and I’ll tell you—that trip shifted my perspective entirely. The simplicity of life there, the peace, the human priorities, the gentle pace of daily existence… it all made me question what I’ve been chasing all along.
You see, while I understand the sentiment in all the ‘rah-rah-rah, hustle harder’ posts we’re bombarded with, they miss the point entirely.
Experiences like my Thailand journey are the opportunity of a lifetime, just not the opportunity most people think it is. Rather than an opportunity to gather exotic Instagram posts or tick off bucket list items, what Thailand presented me with was the chance to rediscover who I truly am and what life really means for me.
And while I’m a huge believer in looking forward to frame a new way of living — because the best is yet to come — I’ve learned your focus must be not on striving for more, but on a search for less. That search starts not with eyes fixed on the future, but on what has gone before.
By looking back—by stopping beneath swaying palm trees, catching my breath on quiet beaches, being present in simple village life, and allowing the past to teach me its lessons—I found space to shape a future I truly want to embrace: a future free of old shackles and perceptions, that reflects the true essence of the real me. A future built on my strengths, values, and purpose.
It seems like it’s the wrong way around — to look backwards to see clearly forward. But Thailand taught me that to know where you want to go, you first have to understand where you’ve been. Life doesn’t unfold through neatly ring-fenced events with distinct beginnings and ends. Life flows along a continuum, where yesterday blends into today, and today blends into tomorrow.
Before that trip, I had goals and plans. I’d worked hard on them. Some things I’d achieved, others remained works-in-progress. Then the simplicity I encountered pulled the rug from under my carefully constructed priorities. Everything changed.
But here’s the thing: not a single moment of what unfolded before my trip, and not a single moment since, has been wasted.
Every twist and turn, every success and failure offers context for what lies ahead. Even if I once believed certain paths were essential, that belief itself offers learning that can carry me forward. But to discover what that learning is, I needed to stop and take stock in a place where time moves differently.
No rushing to acquire new skills or complete projects. Instead, I took time to re-examine the plans I had before the trip, to rediscover where those plans were taking me, and to re-imagine where I truly want to go.
Maybe those plans were taking me to the right places, maybe they weren’t. Only by stopping and learning what the past wants to tell us about our journey so far can we uncover what shaped the paths we’ve followed, what choices brought us towards or carried us away from becoming the person we truly are. Only by stopping will we know if the path we’re on is the one we truly want to follow. And Thailand, with its gentle rhythm and human-centred approach to living, gave me that unique opportunity to stop and re-imagine a future worthy of the real me.
As I dream about implementing these lessons in my daily life, I’m weaving my journey so far into those aspirations. Drawing on my experiences to identify the steps needed to make those dreams reality.
Take time to celebrate both the highs and lows that brought you to where you are. Look beneath the surface to capture what those moments long to teach you. Remind yourself of dreams surrendered and passions subdued in pursuit of a ‘better’ future, and begin to rediscover the person you once were.
Where is that person of yesterday in the here and now? Parts will be present, but parts may be missing—still within you, but hidden from view. Where do those hidden parts fit in a future re-imagined?
You have a chance not to become a ‘better’ you, but the ‘real’ you. Don’t waste it.
