You hear it a lot. I say it a lot. But what does it actually mean—to ‘live your best life’?

Does living your best life mean three holidays a year? A new car on the drive at regular intervals? Meals out in fancy restaurants with friends? Does it mean fighting the good fight? Or having a figure straight out of a magazine, and the style of a catwalk model? And what about family time, me time, us time and down-time—does living your best life mean time-a-plenty? Or does it mean pay-rises and promotions, qualifications and accolades?

All too often, it seems to mean whatever other people want for you. If you’ve seen the film Kung Fu Panda, you’ll have seen this in action. Deep down, Po knew that the life his father had planned for him was not his best life.

And those things I just listed out? They don’t define your best life, either.

Sure, some, none, or all of them may feature in your best life, but to have them does not mean that the life you are living is the best that it can be. In fact, you could have all of those things and more, and still be living a life that is a million miles away from being the best that it can be.

You see, there is more to you and, therefore, to your best life, than those things that give you pleasure, bring well-being, or give rise to a sense of belonging. All of those things matter—of course they do—but they matter as the outworking of something much deeper, much more fundamental than anything you can lay your hands on. They are simply the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. They flow from your best life, not into it.

While the things in your life are complicated—some bring pleasure, some bring pain; some bring laughter, some bring tears—your best life is beautifully simple. It is pure. It is complete. It is the expression of who you truly are. And whilst those things that bring you pleasure are merely temporary, requiring constant ‘topping-up’, your best life is ever-present; it is unchanging, constant, immovable, permanent.

So, back to the original question—what does it mean to live that ever-present, unchanging life? And what do you have to do to live your best life?

Nothing.

You do not need to do anything: you simply need to be your real self. Oh, for sure, you may have to strip away things that have got in the way of being who you really are—the masks you have learned to wear, the external messages you have accepted—but you do not need to create something new. You simply need to step away from the interpretation you have become and rediscover who you already are.

But how do you do that?

It’s simpler than you may think.

The first step is to uncover your values—those things that matter to you, that you would fight for, that connect with the essence of your soul. Maybe it’s family, truth, compassion, trust, peace, or something altogether different.

The second step is to uncover your strengths, which are already within you. They cannot be learned or acquired—they just need to be uncovered, unlocked and unleashed. Your strengths are the way that you best express your values.

The third step is to put those values and strengths at the centre of every moment. You must build a life that allows your values to emerge in every choice you make, decision you take, word you speak and endeavour you undertake. Only then will you begin to see your best life unfold.

And, as your best life unfolds, so the icing will begin to form on your cake: as the fulfilment that meaning and purpose bring takes root, so those things that bring you real pleasure will grow. It truly does not get better than that.